My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
