i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
