you guys were way drunker than both of me
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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