Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
