yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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