On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
