Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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