Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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