Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
