Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
