dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
