I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
