I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
