yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
