dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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