The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
