If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
