That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
