I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
