Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
