we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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