dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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