DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
