lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
