i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
