hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
