using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I need a beard to bite.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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