One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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