can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
