North Korea, Best Korea!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
