that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
