oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
