No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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