is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
