Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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