Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
