well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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