Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
