I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
