i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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