i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
