READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
