My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
