theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
