that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
People in love make me want to vomit
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I believe in your delicious
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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