she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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