But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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