I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
