I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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