At least make sure they are 18
Why
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
