We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
