That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
