it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
